How many Toasmasters does it take to change a light bulb?
The whole club, as one member will change the bulb and all others will evaluate it.
Q: How many Toastmasters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 20 - 1 to introduce the person who will screw it in, 1 to screw it in,
1 to evaluate, 1 to keep time, 1 to observe that the word of the day
was not used during the procedure, and 15 to applaud at the beginning
and vote for "best light bulb screwer-inner" at the end.
A proud Toastmaster was giving his first professional speech at a convention.
He asked the facilities manager how big was the auditorium.
The facilities manager replied, "It sleeps 300."
You know you've been in Toastmasters too long when you hold up the "red"
card during a business meeting.
You know you've been in Toastmasters too long when you tell you boss he is
using too many unmeaningful hand guestures.
You know you've been in Toastmasters too long when you begin to give an ah
counters report after a meeting with your boss.
You know you've been in Toastmasters too long when you shake hands with your
boss smiling after he fired you.
A policeman was driving along behind another car. At the first
intersection, the light was green, so the two cars continued. At the next
intersection, the light turned from green to yellow, but the first car
didn't even try to stop. "Oh well," the policeman thought, "nothing illegal
about that, but I'd better keep an eye on this guy." The cop continued to
follow the other car.
At the third intersection, the light changed from green to yellow, and then
to red! Well, the first car again didn't even try to stop, it just kept
going. Well, the cop turned on the siren and lights, and gave chase,
pulling the car over at the next intersection.
He asked the driver, "Say, buddy, didn't you see that red light back there?"
The driver of the first car replied, "Sorry, I'm a Toastmaster. I don't stop for
red lights...I was waiting for applause!"
Some speeches are like broiled lobster. You have to pick through an awful
lot to find any meat.
Fred: I was at dinner last night with a great after dinner speaker, a real
Sam: Really - what does he say that makes him so great?
Fred: 'Waiter bring me the check!"
My neighbor says his wife is an after dinner speaker - and also before and
Fred: Did you ever speak before a big audience?
Sam: Yes I did
Fred: What did you say?
Sam: Not Guilty!
例会でJoke Sessionのあるクラブでは、質の高いJokeを探すのに苦労されていると思います。インターネットで探しても「これは使える!」と思えるJokeは10話に１話くらいではないでしょうか？ （たとえば、私のクラブには弁護士をされているメンバーがいますので、弁護士系のJokeはちょっと気が引けます）
早速District FからDistrict４０のWebサイトで、District Governor, Lt. Governor Education and Training, Lt. Governor Marketingのかたがたのメールアドレスを見つけ、ランダムに１００通くらい「I am looking for clean Toastmaster jokes. Can you please share with me?」なるお願いメールを送りました。